Today’s Post will be focused on how we can heal our inner self with forgiveness and things that we can do to grow forward regardless of the pain you might have had for this situation or person.
You know how the word forgiveness is always thrown around like some piece of cake !! Very easy to say but one of the hardest thing to do? Oh, it is hard. I know it, and you also do know it is hard. Well, for some, it is easy to forgive, and for some, it is easy to say they have forgiven but always bring it up in every situation, which I can say I fall into that category, to be honest with you all. 😂
Forgiveness isn’t about agreeing with what they did. It’s also not allowing what they did to you to steal your peace of mind, your hope, happiness. It is about your healing.
M.C
First of all, I will start by writing about what forgiveness is not about because there is a lot of misconceptions about it;
- Forgiveness is not being in denial about what the other person did to you. By them not taking responsibility for hurting you and how that wounded feeling has impacted your life, let’s take, for example, if you were abused or cheated on, you could not simply forget it never happened or deny that you cannot remember because those occurrences have affected you and therefore will have an impact on your upcoming relationship with someone else.
- Forgiveness certainly does not mean Reconciliation. I can attest to this; My aunt hurt me so bad, and I had to forgive her so that I could grow and for my peace of mind, but I stopped calling, asking about her and just parted ways with her because we could not go back to how we were before. It was a very toxic relationship. You can forgive someone but choose never to have anything to do with that person again, maybe because of whatever you felt objected to in that relationship.
Secondly, let’s talk about what forgiveness is all about
Forgiveness is interpreted in a lot of ways, but the simplest to say is that no matter what has happened in any of our lives at this moment, we can be at peace, be it five minutes ago or five years ago. Forgiveness is an assertive or creation of peace in the present. People create a lack of stability, so we can also be the only people who can remedy the situation.
Fred Luksin
This step is an intentional and voluntary process by which you may have been offended, maltreated, injured or victimised, but choose to let go of the malice, hostility and bitterness raging up in you.
- This step is an intentional decision you have to make by yourself, and let me tell you; it is not all ❤️. You will not like it or feel all contented afterwards. Being intentional is an option you decide to click on because you want to move past the experience of hurt and bitterness. The pain is holding you back on a lot of happiness, peace of mind, developing your potentials and freedom. When you realise that you keep going back to what that person had done to you and how it hurts, you would know that you are stuck in a place of unforgiveness, which inhibits your progress because you are still tied to that pain occurrence. Being Intentional about this is a process, and it means you have to walk it out
- The other step is being voluntary about forgiveness which means only you can do it, not someone else but yourself. An example will be when you are in a quarrel with your partner, and this person does not want to own that he/she is wrong and blames you for what you did not do, but then you still choose to forgive that individual.
The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realise that the problem is over, you cannot move forward.
Steve Maraboli
The process is not an overnight process. It takes time. For me, I have to call out that person name, and I have to keep repeating it from my hearts of hearts in meditation to say I have forgiven that person. I also have to talk about it to know I am in the process of forgiving that person because I choose to do it with willingness and time.
Finally, this is all about consideration and empathy. You can check my post on https://princessanyasodor.com/2020/09/06/do-you-think-our-modern-society-lacks-empathy/. Forgiveness is also about having the power to live your life with a sense of hope, joy, resilience, understanding and compassion because you are working on yourself. I am still learning, trying and meditating because this life no easy oooo. When people show you (shege),😔 you want to revenge, but then you think about it and understand that that person does not know any better. P.S (shege means problems or when people show you their true hurtful sides)
I will stop here and would love to hear some of your opinions on how you forgive people or do you even forgive? Please comment below and we can chat.
Thank you for the love ❤️ we see back here tomorrow for Daily Post Day 6.
Princess Pringles. 