You would not believe the insolence people have. Well, the question is if they even see it at all.
One afternoon I went to visit my friend after work. I was with her for two hours eating, chatting and discussing while she was preparing to go to work. At around 3:40 pm we decided to take the train, she going to work and I was going home.
As we boarded the train, I wanted to go up the first floor of the train and she countered that it would not be convenient for her , since she would be coming down at the next two junctions. I on the other hand, wanted to sit close to a window and just sleep. But then she always wins (the big head). So we sat down close to the door where bicycles 🚲 and Mamas always have a spot. There a lady sat opposite us with her bicycle. I and my friend noticed how she was stealing looks (no-no) not stealing looks but looking right at us the whole time. We kept our cool and decided to ignore her while chatting.
After a while, another lady came from the other coach and decided to pitch her bicycle against the other bicycles there. After that She left to sit elsewhere. Then BOOM something happened which left us Speechless. The Bicycles all tumbled and fell onto the other woman who was staring at us the whole time. Her bags and books fell off her, and we scrambled to help her get her things up. (But guess what? She did not say thank you to us) and the lady whose bicycle caused the whole commotion just sat there while her Girlfriend who we had not seen earlier stood up to come to pick their bicycle without uttering a word… NO word, no sorry, no sympathy, or asked if the lady was injured or to see if something had happened to her or us!! That left me and my friend perplexed like astounded like WTF…? And we were just looking at each other with no words but knowing we were both sending each other thousands of words with our silence and stare.
This got me thinking, why are people emotionless? Baseless? Or rather lacking Empathy by the day. So I read up on it and I came to realize that Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s reality while thinking about or being aware of their feelings. There are people like those two or rather three ladies who did not have this quality. After reading this up I realized I have encountered such in my life as well and I could identify them as such:
How do you Identify an Empathless person.
- They do not pay you attention. They do not worry about you and are so focused on themselves because they care less about what happens to you.
- They are unsympathetic and do not feel the urge to comfort you of your pain or what you are going through
- They are selfish and do not trust anyone
- They are also Egoistic
- They find solace in Pain
Most of us have had Interaction or similar cases like this or even worse with our Partners, Bestfriends, Co-workers, Siblings, Parents and so on that leave us baffled. It still surprises and chagrins us when people we consider Families, friends, loved ones, decent, kind people seem to abandon us when we most need their emotional support.
This kind of interrelationship builds up to resentment, provocation, criticism and counterattacks. But this is what I have learnt from people with this emotions. If you have no empathy for yourself, no matter the love you give them, no matter how you try to make them accept you and also try to get their validation. At the very end they will not empathize with you.
How to come to Terms with an unemphathetic person
Do not get me wrong I am not saying they are bad people what I am saying is that you have to look into yourself and and know what you are standing for. Are you in whatever Situation you are with an unemphathetic person because you want to prove something? or feel seen? or worthful? These people have a lot on them so therefore you can only give back to these people when you:
- When you are there to feel with them
- When you come to the realisation that you accept them for who they are
- When you have no expectations
- When you pratcice self compassion and show yourself love
- When you find someone caring to talk to e.g Therapist or loving friends
- When you stop jumping through hoops for them and let it drain your Spirit
I feel really sad that they lack empathy because of things that must have happened at one time in their lives, traumatized childhood upbringings, lack of self-worth, loveless relationships and It’s like a never-ending bad cycle… starting from a loveless marriage that affects every member in the family, and when the children grow up from such environment, how do we expect them to know how to love and connect? The world is full of detached connections. This is a universal issue of our world pushing us towards Individualism besides many other issues too.
I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.David Cross
I hope the newer generation will have an increased awareness in educating their children and demonstrating to them with examples of how to love and relate in their relationship in other to grow emotionally healthy children.
This all starts with us, we have to change what we can change, but we should not waste our time and energy trying to change someone who does not want to be changed.
Do you think our Society has become less Empathless?
Please feel free to comment on your experience with Lack of Empathy and what can be done in situations like this. I would be glad to hear from you.
This is my Birth month and i am so exicited. Happy new month everyone.